"I'm teaching this girl and ... man, she just f***ing sucks."

Some people are born to instruct, others are not.  At the bottom of the "Others Are Not" barrel, underneath the layer of film, hidden behind a crusty band-aid lies an old acquaintance from Spokane named Collin.

Collin worked at Mount Spokane as a ski instructor.  He was a very friendly, young guy who at one point was roommates with our neighbor.  Collin was an amazing skier.  Collin was not an amazing instructor.  However, being an instructor granted you a free season pass.  For a twenty-something young man, this was worth the trouble of having to work a few hours every week teaching children and adults how to downhill ski.

Collin's Story

One Sunday afternoon, Brian and I bumped into him at the bottom of the bunny hill.  "Hey!" we called out.  "Hey!" he replied.

"What are you up to?" I asked, as I landed a double back flip.

"Nothing much," Collin sighed and looked over at a middle-school aged girl wobbling on skis, "just working on teaching this girl."

"How's it going?" Brian asked, as he caught his toe-edge and did a face plant.

"Oh, man," he groaned, "it's going horrible.  This girls sucks.  I mean, I'm teaching this girl and.... man, she just f***ing sucks.  She's terrible."

Brian and I looked over and the girl was five feet from Collin.  She was still wobbling on her skis and, without a doubt, she heard every word he said.

"Oh," I said, "Well, gotta go!"

--The end--

Clearly, Collin should never have been an instructor.  I mean, that's a no-brainer.  The reason I tell you all this is because last night Nolan started independent swimming lessons (meaning his first time without Mommy in the pool with him).  His instructor, M, was definitely from the same barrel as Collin; thankfully she was near the top.

There was really no key moment when I realized that Nolan's instructor wasn't very good.  It was a more a series of comments, actions, and remarks:

Upon us arriving five minutes early:

"Don't get in the pool," greeted Nameless Instructor Who Didn't Identify Herself As Nolan's Instructor, "Just wait over there until class begins.  We teach the kids to not get in the water until their class begins."

Upon the start of Nolan's class:

"The only other student is R," said Nameless Instructor Who Still Didn't Identify Herself As Nolan's Instructor, "She doesn't speak any English.  So I have that to work with."

Upon Nolan being timid getting into the water:

"NOLAN!" said Nameless Instructor Who I Assumed Was Nolan's Teacher And Not Just Some Random College Student, "SWIM TIME, DUDE!  LET'S GO!"  Nolan ran away from the pool and hid behind me.

Upon every time Nolan started to inch his way into the water:

"NOLAN!" cried M, who I finally asked what her name was and introduced her to my son, "COME OUT HERE AND SWIM WITH R!"  Nolan ran out of the pool and hid behind me.

Upon Nolan play-splashing M and her reprimanding him:

"Nolan, no splashing!" yelled M.  Nolan began to get out of the pool, so M began fervently splashing him as he came towards me.  Nolan started crying and ran towards me.  The aquatics director happened to be sitting a few feet away from me and HE yelled at M for splashing Nolan.  M apologized to Nolan.

Upon Nolan attempting to return to the pool after being splashed by the instructor:

"GOOD JOB, NOLAN!"  cried M, "COME OUT FARTHER!"  Nolan ran away from the pool and hid behind me.

At 6:15 p.m.:

"Oh, my God!" groaned M to me, "It's only been 15 minutes?  I thought we were almost done!  Ugh!"

At 6:25 p.m., during play time:

"Hi, Older Student In 6:30 p.m. Class!" greeted M, "We're having play time!  Fetch the diving ring!"  (So much for students not entering the pool until their class begins.)

At 6:26 p.m., during play time:

Older Student In 6:30 p.m. Class grabbed two diving rings, R grabbed one, and Nolan was left with none. The instructor repeated this "game" for the duration of the class.  Nolan never got another ring.  

At 6:30 p.m.:

"Class is done!" cried M, "Get out of the pool, Nolan!  Bye!"

At 6:31 p.m., while I was putting Nolan's t-shirt on him by the water:

"Class is done, Nolan!" cried M, "No more swimming!  See you next week!"

Honestly, I wasn't that bothered by most of the things.  It's clear that she's an impatient person and she shouldn't be an instructor.  The thing that bothered me the most (even more than splashing my kid, which only bothered me because she made Nolan cry) was Nolan not getting any of the rings.  He and R were having fun for the two minutes before the older student arrived.  Nolan was going farther out in the pool to hand the instructor the ring, and M seemed to be enjoying his improvement.  He was getting more comfortable.  As soon as Older Student arrived, M's focus was diverted and she no longer cared.  THAT sucked.  

On the plus side, Nolan had fun and he improved a lot.  Be grateful for the little things.

Plenty of Room for the Johnston Family of Five*

*By "plenty of room" I mean approximately 800 square feet.  Should be cozy!

So this is what we are living in, folks.

The main door, which we do not use because it doesn't open easily (perhaps because of the gigantic filing cabinet blocking it?)

Our living area.  Still trying to get organized.

The dining area.  You can tell our table is being used for its intended purpose.

Some bum left a bunch of micro-brew beer bottles in a bucket on our patio.  How rude!

Our patio.  Notice the barely-alive lavender plant on the edge.  Pretty sure the Texas heat is murdering it.

Master bedroom (I made the bed! Go me!)

Shower and toilet.  The shower head is maybe 4' off the bottom of the tub.

Bathroom vanity and sink (Another bum left a bunch of cosmetics and personal hygiene products behind.  She could have at least put them away)

Extra-wide hallway leading from master to the main living area.

Nolan's spacious bedroom (with his new big boy bed sort of set up)

Same messy bathroom.

Kitchen pantry/storage/laundry hookups

Our fireplace being used as Nolan's play workstation

As you can clearly see, our apartment is a disaster.  HOWEVER, we can now actually walk around in it (you should have seen it on Sunday) and sit on the sofa and watch TV.  Be grateful for the little things, right?

Hope everybody has a good weekend.

Temporary Digs

Greetings, faithful followers!  I apologize for the long delay in an update.  We have been busy, but more than anything, I suffer from anxiety issues which sometimes prevent me from being productive and/or social.  I had a relapse in symptoms this week.  Not fun, but I'm dealing.

As you can see, nothing much has changed on our house other than a very sexy plywood sign which features our house number.  Holler!

This is the entrance to our subdivision.  Take note of the extra-fancy "e" at the end of "Point." It really adds that something extra.  Literally.  It's an extra letter.

And here is Nolan cuddling with some puppies in our apartment.  While the apartment is a nice change from the hotel, it's still not the best living situation.  Nolan's bedroom is tiny, the shower stall was designed for midgets, and the counters were "updated" with this weird spray-on faux granite stuff.  Only three more months to go until we move into our new swanky house!  But who's counting, right?

Other than those things, there's not too much to report.  Nolan starts swimming lessons on Thursday, Brian is enjoying his work, and I am enjoying not being in school (for a couple more weeks).

Stand by for more updates.  Thanks for reading!

Little Boxes On The Hillside, Little Boxes All The Same

First, thank you to Mrs. Malvina Reynolds.  Brian and I have hummed/sang your song many-a-time while house hunting in the suburbs of DFW.

Second, we designed our cookie cutter totally unique house today. Huzzah!

In all honesty, as much as I make fun, designing our Beazer Homes house was actually quite enjoyable.  While trying to prepare myself in the last few days for today's one-and-only design session, I searched the internet for information that laid out the specific options Beazer Homes would provide us.  I was disappointed that there was minimal information out there.  I found one propaganda video and one scathing review (see below).  Nothing else.

Therefore, I am hoping that this blog post might help future Margie and Brians in the search of information about the Beazer Homes design center.  Maybe it will be interesting for future non-Margie and Brians, or maybe not.  Either way, they can suck it and be glad I made the effort.

Bottoms up, friends and family and internet stalkers!

Designing Your Somewhat-Individualized Beazer Homes House

Warning: If you think that by purchasing a Beazer Home you are getting a custom built home, you are not.  If you think that by purchasing a Beazer Home you are getting a unique home, you are not.  If you think that by purchasing a Beazer Home you will be 100 percent satisfied with what the base model offers, you will not.

Beazer Homes suggests you prepare yourself for your one-and-only design center appointment by perusing home-improvement magazines, catalogs, and books.  I concur.  Although you have no idea what the standard options are (for our home/community we had two for cabinets, two for kitchen counters, four for carpet, and three for ceramic/porcelain tile), it is good to get at least a feel for current trends, what you like and dislike, etc.

Depending on the upgrades you select, the prices, quality, and availability differ dramatically.  For example, standard carpet comes with a 3/8" pad.  Just upgrading the pad alone to a water-resistant type would increase our cost by more than $800.  This is for roughly 1000 square feet.  Upgrading to level one options would increase the price over $1000.  I didn't bother asking how much the best carpet would cost.

Is it possible to get a customized look for your home?  Absolutely.  But be prepared to pay for it.   Adding tiny squares in your kitchen backsplash will cost you $137.  Iron spindles, instead of wood, on your handrail $150.  Upgrading all of your fixtures to oil-rubbed bronze will cost you about $1500.  Want wood floors on your main level?  Be prepared to fork over more than six grand.  In fact, if Beazer Homes has its way, we'll be paying more like nine grand for those wood floors... but that's an entirely different blog post for a different time.

Three days before our appointment, I picked up an awesome book from Barnes and Noble all about paint colors and what complements what, etc.  I spent hours highlighting color combinations, marking pages, making notes, and searching the local hardware store for paint chips.  I felt prepared for identifying the colors I wanted in each room of the house.  Unfortunately Beazer Homes offers only limited colors for painting the walls and ceiling, all in varying shades of beige.  The worst part? The walls and ceiling will be painted the same color throughout the entire house.  I settled on "designer white" with the intent of painting every room when we move.  

Do I have any regrets with choosing Beazer Homes?  At this point, definitely not.  The company is doing what hundreds of other suburban home builders are doing across the country: Designing homes that are filled with options (both structural and cosmetic) to give each buyer the feeling that he/she is getting exactly what he/she wants and/or can afford.  

My bit of advice to anybody who is considering buying a house from Beazer Homes (or one of its many competitors) is to be prepared.  Hang on to every bit of paperwork (see previously mentioned wood floors comment), research the cost/difficulty of doing certain things yourself AFTER the home is constructed, and determine what upgrades are most important to you.  I can live with standard bathroom cabinets, manufactured marble, and a basic front door.  Hardwood floors, cherry kitchen cabinets, and a fourth bedroom are my must-haves.

Thanks for reading!

"Little Boxes" by M. Reynolds-- lyrics

Beazer Homes Review Which Freaked Me Out

Moving On Up

Good Morning, friends and family!  Here are some updates on our amazing adventures in amazing-land.

Apartment: Since the house will not be completed until November, Brian and I managed to secure a two-bedroom apartment just a short drive from his job.  Huzzah!  I have the address and will e-mail it to whoever, if you are interested.  We also have a PO box that we will be maintaining for several months, if not longer.

Discovering my inner interior designer: In preparation for picking out paint colors, carpet, blah, blah, blah, I've been busy picking up catalogs and magazines to gather ideas.  Brian and I had a lot of fun at Ikea on Sunday coming up with potential decor and styling.  Here's something I liked:

I'm also fascinated with the idea of green granite.  I think it would look awesome with dark cabinets and a warm-toned wall.

 Marathon: Some people have asked if I am still doing the marathon in Seattle due to our busy lives.  The answer is a definite yes.  I won't be breaking any world records, but I am intent on participating AND completing my first marathon on December 1.

The Secret Life of Margie the Beekeeper:  I have decided I want to get honey bees after we are moved into our new house.

Toodles!

Third time is the charm?

Greetings!  I hope you all are having a fabulous Monday.  I am currently sitting in the hotel room, typing in the dark, while Tsunami sleeps.  *fingers crossed he keeps sleeping*

On Saturday, Brian and I decided to completely change directions with house-hunting and purchase a brand-new house in Little Elm.  Yay!  We are so excited!  Here's a picture of the house:

As you probably noticed, other than the port-a-potty, our lot is empty. :(  BUT it will be completed in November.  Huzzah!

As for the house that we purchased in Allen, we sadly decided to terminate the contract due to the house's foundation issues.  While foundations in Texas are prone to damage (due to the soil conditions), we decided that even with fixing it we didn't want to deal with any future problems.  We will definitely miss the house's amazing lot (over 1/3 acre on a creek), but we really feel that new construction will allow us a fresh start.

Now comes the fun part of picking paint colors, cabinets, counters, fixtures, doors, and much more!  Brian is putting me in charge, but he does have final veto power.

Here's a layout of the first floor:

Our house will have have a couple of changes:

• Instead of "flex" room, it will become a fourth bedroom.  The room will be a square (no diagonal wall) and the powder room because a full bath
• The master bedroom will now be extended two feet out (so it'll be 16' long instead of 14)
• There is a covered patio out the back door
• We will have a fireplace in the great room
• Not sure about the optional garage door that goes out the side... that's something we can add-in.  Thoughts?

Here's a layout of the second floor:

No changes on the second floor.

Brian and I are also going to add in a gas hook-up line in the laundry room and also a gas hook-up line on the outside so we can set-up an outdoor barbecue or fire pit.

Does anybody have any suggestions?  Things we should add? Things that we should leave out?  They throw all these options at us with upgrades and blah, blah, blah.  If you've built a house in the past (or have had one built), are there any upgrades/options you highly recommend?  Don't need?

Thanks for reading my blog!  Stay tuned for more updates.

Battery, Beer, and Bathroom

Greetings, faithful followers!  Here are a few updates for your reading pleasure.

Jetta: Brian's Jetta decided yesterday that she was sick of the heat and did not walk to work anymore. Thankfully Jetta chose a place near the hotel, and she also chose a good time: Right after Brian picked up some ice-cold beer.  Brian was able to enjoy a beverage while his loving and beautiful wife drove to jump-start his car.  It appears the only problem is the battery, so we are off to Wal-Mart this evening for some good ol' fashioned Thursday night fun.  Huzzah!

Spokane: I'm waiting on word from our Spokane Realtor, but our closing on our house in the 'hood is scheduled to happen today.  Brian and I signed the documents yesterday, had them sent via FedEx overnight, and are waiting on the proceeds to be wired to the Cayman Islands for some good ol' fashioned tax evading.  Huzzah!

Obsession with HGTV:  One would think that after going through prepping our house to sell for--literally--years (how many of you remember the five-year bathroom remodel?), I would want a break from anything having to do with remodeling.  Oh, how mistaken you are!  Visions of granite, paint, and raised garden beds are dancing through my head.  Too bad after purchasing new home, we will have zero dollars for anything extra.  Perhaps I'll have to come up with some good ol' fashioned money to get this remodeling party started. Huzzah!

For now, that is all.  I'm sure I've regaled you with enough good ol' fashioned adventures to last at least 24 hours.  Huzzah!

Friday Night Football

Thanks for all of the positive feedback, friends and family!  Mi hermano, Tim, brought up an interesting point regarding football in Texas:

This is a football stadium here in Texas.

It seats 18,000 people and cost $60 million to build.

It boasts a 26' high-definition video screen.

It was just completed in 2012 and its first game sold out.

It's a high school football stadium. That's right, a high school football stadium located in Allen, Texas, which is the city where we bought our house.  And since it is the only high school in Allen, this is the school Nolan will attend in approximately 11 years.

Interestingly enough, this is not the largest high school stadium in Texas.

As you can see, Allen is ranked fifth based on seating capacity.

The thing that is most amazing to me is that this stadium is larger than football stadiums.  Obviously, Big Ten schools have got Allen beat by tens of thousands, but what about other football teams?

Eastern Washington University (home of the 2011 - NCAA Div. I champions), located just outside of Spokane, has a seating capacity of roughly 8,000.

South Dakota State University, which I attended for 2-1/2 years and occasionally made an appearance in class, has a seating capacity of about 15,000.

And the University of Minnesota-Duluth, known for its stellar hockey program (perhaps not its football team), only seats 4,500.

It appears that if Brian and I want Nolan to be a football player when he's in high school, we should probably start enrolling him in intensive preschool camps so that he can have a mediocre chance at becoming a third-string, JV quarterback when he's 17.

I think we'll pass.


(Another link with more information)
http://seattletimes.com/html/sports/2019027499_apusfridaynightpalace.html

104 Degrees Fahrenheit

Greetings to my friends, family, and internet stalkers!  Welcome to the amazing Overhausers' amazing blog about (hopefully) amazing Texas!

A few random updates to get everybody caught up on our adventure....

Living Situation: We are currently residing in a hotel, the lovely and (disappointingly) Mormon-owned Marriott.  Brian's new work paid for it for two weeks and on Friday (when the two weeks were done) I moved us into a more affordable option: a Motel 6 near the airport.  Forty-five minutes later I moved us out of the Motel 6 and back into the original hotel because I was afraid I might either: A. Get murdered, B. Get mugged, C. Get hepatitis, or D. All of the Above.

Temperature:  It is fricken' hot here.  Not just like "Oh, man, it's 85 degrees out and my air conditioner isn't working," it's straight-up hot, as in "Hey!  It's 6:30 in the morning and it's 95 degrees out!  I'm sweating standing in the shade and my underwear is stuck to my butt!"  Yeah, it's hot.  As any good Minnesotan knows, it's not the temperature that gets you; it's the terrible humidity.  Thankfully the level of moisture in the air has dropped the past few days, but I think we're due for an increase.  S***.

House:  We bought a house!

 front view

back yard view (backs to totally gorgeous creek)

We had the inspection yesterday and there are some potential foundation problems, so a foundation inspector is going over tomorrow to investigate.  We are hoping that it is not an issue, but if it is the sellers will pay for it.  Standby for more information.

The dogs:  We had an incident with Kona, our malamute/shepard mix on Friday evening: Kona was leashed, but we were not holding onto her because I was drinking a vodka martini from a coffee cup helping Brian unload the car.  A woman and her two dogs came around the corner and Kona went after one dog and latched on.  Kona's victim ended up with a small puncture wound near its cheek.  We found out the next day that Kona could be quarantined if she wasn't up-to-date on her rabies vaccine.  We discovered, with much relief and appreciation to God, that Kona was indeed vaccinated; it expires in early September.  All three dogs are now up-to-date (the Poms' rabies vaccinations had already expired).

My Education:  Not sure what is going on with my two-year degree from the Falls.  I will hopefully be able to complete it via the internet, but not all classes are offered digitally.  Standby for more information.

Overall impressions:  So far, we all like it here.  I'm anxious to move into our new house and hopefully make some awesome friends.  A lot of people are very nice here, but there are also a lot of people who are incredibly snobby and stuck-up.  The Plano-area is very affluent and is a huge melting pot of Asians, Indians (dot, not feather), Mexicans, and Whiteys.  I will admit that there are many times during the day that I long for Spokane: the familiarity, our friends, the weather, the diverse terrain.  I miss Spokane more than I miss Minnesota. I know these feelings will subside, but for now it is sad at times.

Please stay tuned for more updates and keep us in your thoughts and/or prayers.

Margie (and Brian, Nolan, Kona, Spots, and Allister)